It’s been almost a decade since i blogged. I literally forgot i had a blog. Plus i wondered, if i blogged would anyone read it. It will be out there but no one to attend to it but me once in a while.
Whats happened the past decade? Got a job, got a car, living alone and single. Changed jobs in fact, same profession just different specialities. Friends circle has gone smaller. Everyone seems to have different priorities, mine has remained the same just the focus point has changed. The focus is ME now.
I do what makes me happy, i live the way i want to. I used to make others happiness a priority that I had gone beyond my comfort level to make them happy. What i didn’t realise was, it made them happy, but it drained me. The moment they smile seems to have made me feel like i accomplished something, but little did i know that i was not the only one doing that for them. Honestly , they didn’t second guess when it came to hurting me.
Nowadays I have learned to choose because everyday every moment there are choices. I choose whats best for me and not whats for the greater good. I am kind but not till i am unkind to myself.
I haven’t met anyone, even if i did, not one that sweeps my feet away from the ground. I have become so complacent with being alone. I don’t feel lonely though. Yes they are different, alone and lonely are different. The only time I feel lonely is on my birthday, when i feel the loneliest. The day i wish i had someone to whom i was very special to, someone who didn’t have any blood ties with me, but who was with me, because they wanted to be. You get what i mean, its a different feeling altogether. However other days I am happy the way i am.
I am now devoting my self to specialising, at my work place and in me. I have a lot of work to do to improve in both areas. I am a work in progress will always be. I am trying to pick up good habits and keep them, am trying new skills to keep learning and am trying very hard to sit and concentrate to read for exams, which is getting harder to do with age and technology. There is just so much to search online. LOLs.
I guess now i will end my babbling, for today. Lets hope i find another time to write some more though no one reads it.
Babbles of An Earthling 