Babbles of An Earthling











{April 29, 2010}   uneventful life

well, my life is sooo boring all i hv is my laptop. so kekesianan! anyways cant go shopping anymore cos exam is very very near the corner. anyways its been a long time since i blogged, i hv lost the inspiration to blog. Usually i just complain like wat i m doing rite now.

anyways here r a few pics i wud like u to see

jensen ackles a.k.a Dean Winchester, supernatural

Dennis Oh@Dennis O'Neil

this beautiful man i m sure u all know

Thomas Gibson a.k.a SSA Aaron Hotchner, criminal minds

South Indian actor, Surya Sivakumar

These r a few men i enjoy drooling at, i m sure most the guys up here most of u know except the Asian ones. Dennis Oh, is a korean actor, he acted in a drama called Witch Yoo-Hee n i loved his character. Surya is a famous n very talented indian actor, i m sure most of u like onie the Bollywood actors n actresses, well they r more glamorous than south indian, talking abt Bollywood, i forgot this man

Arjun Rampal

This gorgeous one is from bollywood, not very famous though! so if u hv the time, can u tell me the similiarities btwn these men, that u can see! they r  r very similar! seriously! well if u hv time to waste, pls tell me, if u dun, just enjoy the pics!



{March 18, 2010}   hating myself again

the year has not been quite right for me! i m not very happy wif how i had to begin it. first of all delaying my peads was a bad decision but i aced it in the end n hvin onie 2 days in btwn to read my psychi(aced that too!). I was  very relieved but internal med is also killing me now. I wanted M’sian nite this year to be memorable for me tis year but unfortunately a sad news from home changed it al. Since then things hv not been in place. My braces hv pushed my teeth to the right n my dentist has given me a second appointment with no hopes of taking it out soon.

Most importantly my mum n i had  had a heart to heart talk n several decisions were made. i was happy for a moment, but life today is not very ideal, no body can be trusted.

I dun like myself rite now. i cant speak for myself lately, i know wat is rite for me, i know wat i hv to do. but i cant seem to be able to do it. i know the onie person who has to fight for me is me, but i cant.

I m too patient, i m too soft, n sum ppl close to me take real good advantage of it. I dun put myself first in any r/ship, n this is very obvious to ppl arnd me that htye sumtimes use it to their advantage.

i know this runs thru sum ppls minds “ha, whr is she gonna go? say sorry make her laugh she will b ur fren again!” i dunno y am i so afraid of changes. i need a change, especially when i m given a chance i shud take it. But i cant, i keep saying not yet. What if its too late, what if i regret? y do i worry about the feeling sof the one who hurts me constantly? y do i hv to keep my promises? y do i hv to see the bright side of everything? y do i hv to be the one to pujuk?

y does it alwiz hv to be? n y do i alwiz give up in the end?

to tell myself the truth, i need home,i need my family. home is whr i feel safe n happy, away from sum vultures called frenz!



{February 8, 2010}   silver jubilee

i few months ago i was freakin out about this, but the day i turned 25 i was ok. Mainly cos it felt like any other day. I baked myself two sets of cakes and i got a third one from my floormates. i was happy to receive a bag that i really wanted as a present from Emmy n Kiran.

it was a very warm n lovely. I cudnt celebrate it wif a lot of cheer, cos i was thinking abt sum1 else n was a worried for him. I think about him constantly n i wish was there wif him rite now,  i m sure may of us who know who i m talking about feels the same way i do. I pray for ur strength my fren.

i got not much to say rite now. see u guys soon.

this is me, 25 years old, dun i look dashing?



{February 4, 2010}   the milestone

I was 15. I played a lot the previous 2 years. I just changed to be so different. I didnt like homeworks, i just wanted to hv fun. I liked 911, i collected all their poster, i listened and sang to their songs. I knew every song, everyword, every melody. I became lazy n very mischievious. i didnt hv any dreams, any ambition, school became a wonderful place to escape. But wen i was fifteen it all just changed.

I travelled to kl 3 times every week by public bus to go to tuition. The tuition centre was very famous and the teachers made learning very entertaining. My grades went up, n i was more serius wif my work. Travelling on my own in the bus was a very useful experience for me. I was able to be independant for those brief moments, but the experience was not all the way nice, it had its ups n downs. Travelling to the tuition centre from my school was sumwat  an adventourous moment, i went wif my frenz n sumtimes they wud say “aiyah ponteng one day la, cum lets go central market, just go around n lepak!” .Was tempted to but the vision of my mom finding out about tis scared me away every time.

That year i was a good kid, but onie for that year. My dad told me “this is it, this is the year that u decide wether its science or arts” sounded huge that time. hehehe, so thr wif that fearsome quote in my head i studied n for that year n the two previous years whr i had lost so much on.

The exam days were ok, but the day before the results came out. i was freaking out. I still remember that night, my dad came home from work, n i stuttered n told him “t..t.ttomoro rrresults cuming Out.” n u know wat my dad said ” so? u r probably gonna get 2 or 3 A’s onie” HUA!!!! i was so embarassed, i was like “HUA!!!U DUN BELIEVE IN ME!!”. the next morning, those words were running in my head, n wen i saw my results, the next thing on my head was “whr is the phone, whr is the phone, whr is the DAMN phone?!!!” i needed to call my dad n tell him “i ACED it all, HA!!!”

But my mom said, ur dad is in the school. i ran to find him, but just before i reahced him, i cooled down went near him , n handed him the paper, waiting to say sumthing wen he looks up at me. My head was streaming for bombastically sarcastic words while muttering “look up pa, look up…i wanna say sumthing”. Finally, he looked up wif tears in his eye, hugged me wifout taking off his helmet. My head banged his helmet, n all the words which i had prepared went missing. N i felt so stupid for thinking of being sarcastic to my own father. he was so proud of me, he alwiz was, he just needed to make me strong n he did.   

The tuition centre whr i studied does this annual prize giving ceremony for their students, n my dad followed me for that occasion. He was so happy, then he came for the one in my school too. That was one year whr i had made him believe in me. Believe that i cud make it thru.

Many of u wud hv realized by now, that i constantly talk of my dad. I admire my dad, to me he is a hero, i want to be him in every way i can. The way my dad brought me up is very different, he told me once that “u r not just my daughter, u r my son too” n from the way he taught me, i know i was.

Well, next year(OMG, finally i can say next year) wen i grad, it will b the ultimatum of my dads achievements. i hope that i will grad wifout any problems.



{December 7, 2009}   in need of a slap!!!

Here i am in my room with an hour to go for my class, reading sum stuff while my facebook was on. N when i looked up i saw pics of one of my schoolmates getting engaged. And it hits me like WHAM!!! “WTH(this is puttin it litely) am i doing wif  my life?”  In the beginning it was all about being overseas n gettin to do wat i hv alwiz wanted, then my eurotrips gave me sum amount of happiness, that i m doing sumthing not everyone can.

Here i m in my room, studying, still single, in Russia, with another year and  half to grad, then another year to do housemanship like a dog n then need to study again to specialise. OMG!!! There goes a decade of my life just like that, the precious decade of my life whr my organs r still functioning well n my stamina is at its peak! N wat am i doing wif it? Studying? how can i do wateva is it that i wanted to do in my 30’s ? if i enjoy at that time, when am i gonna hv kids? what the hell is happening? my life is freakin’ boring, so boring!!!

i wanna ride bike to work, i wanna drive a car in a race track, i wanna be able to party, i wanna dress to kill, i wanna fall madly in love, i wanna date in an expensive restaurant just for fun, i wanna kiss in the rain, i wanna go to on top of a hill n scream my lungs out, i wanna ride my bike all around town, i wanna travel wif my bike, i wanna go crazy, I WAN TO DO A HECK OF A LOT OF THINGS, BUT DAMMIT I M STUCK IN FREAKIN’ RUSSIA!!!!!

*sigh* I think i just hit my midlife crisis point, hey call me dramatic, but i feel like shit rite now! i m really happy for my fren. i wont say i will do anything to be in her shoes but there is sum part of me that wonders wat wud hv happened if i had just stayed back in Msia n did sumthing else.

i know for sure i wouldnt hv seen the world the way i see it now. I wudnt hv seen eiffel, which is still very close to my heart. Everytime i think that my life sucks, i remember that moment when i looked at the Eiffel tower at nite n say to myself “that was a priceless moment that i wud hv never had if i was in Msia”

Oh i need to get a grip, so wat if i am turning a quarter a century, hey its the silver jubilee of my life, it aint cumin back twice!!! HAHAHA, SILVER JUBILEE!!! CAN U FREAKIN’ BELIEVE IT, A QUARTER A CENTURY?!

OK, i am diagnosing myself wif anxiety attack, sumbody cum n slap my face! *PIAK!!!*just slapped myself, i m all better now! bye later then, wif the next episode of anxiety attack.



{August 8, 2009}   Portugal 2009 part 2

28/01/2009

In Sintra

In Sintra

 

told u the weather was bad

told u the weather was bad

Today was not a good day. It started off from buying the wrong pass. Well the system here is that for all land services u hv one pass but for underground like metro its different one. We totally forgot about it and bought the metro one, but actually we wanted to travel by train to a place called Sintra. We burnt 5 euros wif that la. Then goin to the place called Sintra was ok. It was probably an hour by train. Upon reaching Sintra we were dissapointed cos first of all the weather wasn’t favorable n then to enter one castle was damn expensive. So we were just outside onie la. Then TKM wanted to go into these two castle, which really was expensive. So we were standing outside the counter in the rain deciding whether or not to go inside the castle n that was wen i made the biggest mistake. I told TKM this to help him make his decision quick cos he was so indecisive, i said “money u can earn la, experince like this wont cum to u everyday”. Then starting from that day all of them ejek me n call me “miss Quote of the day”!!! HUHU:( .

D vr dissapointed TKM n d vr irritated 7t

D vr dissapointed TKM n d vr irritated 7t in Sintra waiting for the bus

 Then when finally TKM made his decision to go we were given the biggest sad news ever, u need a car if u wan to go the castle, if not cannot go. By the way, to go from one castle to another in Sintra is by a bus that was provided every 15 minutes, but to go the castle itself u need a car they said. So we miised like 3 different buses while waiting for TKM to make that decision. After that we went back to Lisbon n were all tired, drained n dissapointed. TKM told us, if we were interested we could go to Belem to makan Portugal custard tart. Well, at least going to Belem was successful.

 

 

 

The original Custard tart shop

The original Custard tart shop

Wen we reached Belem we were finding for this specific shop, which acc to TKM had the original tart, but to our surprise thr wr many shops which used a similar name n we wr really confused, but we found the rite shop anyway. Moreover, we found sum penangites in the shop thanks to TKMs’ sharp ears in detecting Penang Hokkien. The custard was great. after a short walk in Belem we went back to the hostel.

 

 

 

 

outside of Vasco da Gama

outside of Vasco da Gama

 Upon reaching the hostel all 5 of us sat down n discussed on wat to do wif our metro passes. 7t managed to sell her pass to the girl at the reception, but the rest of us couldnt, so we decided to go n visit the Biggest aquarium in the world. We went without 7t, n sadly the aquarium was closed, SIGH!!!! To waste our time we went to the nearby mall named VASCO DA GAMA. It was a big one. We had dinner there then went back to the hostel. 7t was oredi snoozing like a baby. So we all took shower n gi tdo as well.

 

 

 

here are as usual sum pics

oi 7t! dun snap pics when org tengah makan le!

oi 7t! dun snap pics when org tengah makan le!

In Belem.

In Belem.

 

Co-mel-nyer!!!

Co-mel-nyer!!!

This is one the famous paintings on tiles

This is one of the famous paintings on tiles

Good night, i m not feeling well!



{August 8, 2009}   Portugal 2009 part 1
inside the tram

inside the tram

26/01/2009

We left Baxpax this morning. It was a tiring journey to Lisbon. Like i said i feel nauseated in flights, and todays sandwich was awarded to 7t.

Lisbon Airport

Lisbon Airport

To tell u the truth Lisbon Airport looked very much like KLIA. I wonder who stole whose design ah? Well, that doesn’t bother me. Anyways we left from the airport to the town centre by Aerobus. The thing i love about Europe is the transportation system is so damn reliable, unlike well, u know which place on earth i m living now la.

 

 

 

 

 

i was suppose to open my eyes wen they said "THREE!"

i was suppose to open my eyes wen they said "THREE!"

Our hostels’ name was Living Lounge Hostel, n i tell u its so CEKAP BABE!!! TKM i really wanna thank u for ur smart decision in choosing this wonderful hostel la, u clearly were cekap for this time. We got a room called “Question”, i was thankful we didnt get the room named “Crime Scene”.  That evening as usual since we dun like to just sit inside our rooms n do nothing we went out for a stroll(like so predictable kan!)It was really tiring as we went around and around the same road about 3 times cos we didnt know to which side the bus would be going.

 

 

 

The so called portugal soup a.k.a malaysian dhal

The so called portugal soup a.k.a malaysian dhal

Then, we went to this restaurant that was recommended by the hostel. It was like uphill so we had a very exhausting walk up. Again the food was expensive. 😦  I ate a kebeb like thingy which had veal meat and pork. The veal was like so kenyal, i started feeling so muak by the time i reached half the stick. The best part was 7t ate this soup that tasted like Dhal. So we all got so excited we started dipping bread into the soup and all makan sama sama. Then we balik, we wr too tired to talk oso. We just mandi then terus tdo.

27/01/2009

We were going for a free walking tour around Lisbon(seriusly wif all this walking u wud think i wud hv lost sum weight, but i guess i hv sum very stubborn fat stuck on my body). The tour was guided by the Hostels chef. He was a really nice man. He was one of the founders of the hostel. Oh SHIT, i forgot his

the chef-cum-tour-guide

the chef-cum-tour-guide

name. Never mindla. Anyways at first he brought to the very first hostel that belonged to Living lounge. That was also nice. He brought us from castle to castle. We had tram rides, n i tell u the tram rides are damn scary cos the jalan is like so sempit n onie one vehicle can pass at one time. Oh yeah btw the jalan there is not made of tar, is made of tiles or sumthing that looks like tiles la, i dunno what. But i know the surface was shiny and i was freakin’ scared to walk when it rained.

 

 

 

the local artist who drew on tiles, she was the-so-damn cekap

the local artist who drew on tiles, she was the-so-damn cekap

 During the trip we met a local artist who drew on tiles. Then the chef bought for us each sum sweet bun which a local favorite. I took one bite, decided it was too sweet for me n as usual gave it to my wonderful walking talking eating machine cum good fren, 7t. She enjoyed sweet food so give her la, instead of wasting it. We went to another restaurant for lunch. This restaurant belonged to the chef’s old time fren so we wr told that we will get a good price to makan the local dishes. During the lunch we talked about studying in Russia, the weather there and so on.I forgot to mention that we had two australian girls who had been travelling across europe for 2 FREAKIN’ MONTHS!!!! Anyways, I will never forget the expression on the chefs’ face when he asked us “WHAT DID U ALL DO TO UR PARENTS? Y R THEY PUNISHING U LIKE THIS?” By punishing what he meant was sending us to Russia. Sigh! After lunch we went to a wine shop to buy sum wine. I bought the sweetest wine that was there for my Appa’s frenz. Well if they dun like it i m gonna take it back to Russia or i am gonna ask  Appa to keep it for me until i cum back.  That nite we separated into 2 groups again, the usual 2 grps la n u can guess y oso kan. But before that all of us went souvenier shopping together. Our usual habit is to comment about prices and the variety of gifts in Malay. We were really shocked when one of the shop owners spoke to us in Malay. He was a Bangladeshi who has stayed n worked in Brickfields. We felt so malu cos i remember saying “Mahal sangat la, n the corak pun macam tak best je, jom kite pergi kedai lain la!”The funny thing is all of us ended up buying souveniers from his shop, he gave us good price anyways.

Here are sum pics

i just love this pic!!!

i just love this pic!!!

near the 1st restaurant

near the 1st restaurant

nice view ha?

nice view ha?

nice view here too

nice view here too



{August 6, 2009}   Berlin 2009
In Domodedovo

In Domodedovo

24 January 2009

 

Trip started at 5 a.m. Train ride was as usual ok, i slept like i was dead. We went to Domodedovo airport via metro and van. The van fres are rather cheap, 100rub. The airport has been renovated very well, its very much bigger. The best part of leaving Moscow was there was no problem like last year(THANK GOD!!!) In the plane, i cudn’t eat the cold sandwich. I hv no idea y, i just felt nauseated(mengadekan, dahla org bagi makan je la!) Therefore my sandwich went to Teoh Kok Meng. We reached Tegal airport, Berlin and i tried to withdraw. Tapi tak boleh :(. I was so sad. I borrowed money from Sevvanthee.

That nite we ate for the very first time, CURRYWURST!

The very famous CURRYWURST

The very famous CURRYWURST

 It was tepi jalan  stall punya, n damn it was tasty. It was the best 1.80euro i spent. 

in our hostel, Baxpax

in our hostel, Baxpax

By the way our hostel was really cekap. We loved it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

25 January 2009

We had a nice walk this morning.All the way from our hostel to the Branderburg gate. We took pics and me, 7t n nava were spotting for the souvenier shops along the way. We went into one of the big shops n i found a very nice bag for Yasshni. I know she she is going to love it. I wasnt planning on getting any souveniers from Berlin cos i was here last year, but this bag is a MUST!!!

The fast breakfast

The fast breakfast

Today actually we will be splitting into 2 groups, Me, 7t n Nava one group then shari n kok meng the other. This is cos Shari has not been to Berlin yet  n TKM is the loyal n faithful bf. WE girls on the other hand, were going to Sacchasenhausen trip. It was a former concentration camp. After having breakfast together we headed our separate ways.

The trip cost us 20 euros.The concentration camp for me was a important experience. We find out about how ppl hv suffered in the hands of their own countrymen. I did not cry but i felt really sad. Its horrifying even to hv to listen to what was done to the prisoners, imagine living thru it everyday till ur last breath.

 

I will write about it in another entry cos there are so many pics and stories to tell u. Before the trip, the tour guide asked us to buy for ourselves sum lunch but we didnt want anything cos we just had a good breakfast.

the entrance to the Sacchasanhausen camp.

the entrance to the Sacchasanhausen camp.

But as we exited the building i found my most frequently visited place in the whole wide world, McD. Nava said “Oh no, Maal dun go ok. we jus had b’fast. I know u love that place but dun go, ok, it will be hard to get u out” She was rite, i cant resist burgers, look at my size rite.

Anyways aftert the trip, we went back to the Gate. From there we went back to our hostel and at the same time revisited the bag shops. I bought for my sister that MUST HAVE bag, n 7t n Nava were on a shopping spree to buy themselves bags too. So i followed. Well these girls really can shop, thats one thing for sure. I can too when i want. Hehe pandai2x mengatakan orang sendiri pun satu.

After shopping we went back to the hostel. On the way there wr many Indian restaurant. A waiter from one of the restaurant said to us loudly “Desi ka khana, pardesi me khaiye(i hope my hindi is rite but i know he meant eat ur local food in a foreign country)” .

outside one of the restaurants

outside one of the Indian restaurants

I just laughed but didnt answer him, i was just too lazy n not bothered. I wanted to tell him I m not ur “desi log” in hindi, but not nice oso kan. Cos at the end of the day i m not just Malaysian, i am still described as Malaysian Indian by my own ppl.

That nite all of us went out for dinner. I cried in silence wen i saw the price of the meals in the restaurant. Well the best way to forget ur sadness is by gossiping. Hehe we shared sumgreat gossips that day. Well its not everyday that u hv an expensive dinner filled with luscious gossips in Berlin with 5 of ur good frenz!

 

 

here are sum pics!

Our Dinner in Berlin

Our Dinner in Berlin

the tireless effort to buy the rite bag by Nava

the tireless effort to buy the rite bag by Nava

on the way to Branderburg gate by Metro

on the way to Branderburg gate by Metro from Sacchasanhaussen

outside Russian embassy in Berlin

outside Russian embassy in Berlin

Ok then enuff pics la. YAWN!!!! Gud nite!


{August 4, 2009}   the intro!

Yesterday was the first day of my practicals in Selayang. I met the Senior consultant, her name was Dr.Haliza and my first impression of her was “DAMN SHE IS SUCH A &*^$*!!!!

But at the end of the day, ii was made to go for this thing called “pre-op” and at that time i realised that that woman was really a woman with a lot of substance. U cant mess with her. She knew her facts n she made sure that her underlings knew them well too. She asked a lot of questions and man, was i feeling the heat altho i was not the one on the hot seat. Her questions were very basic, like “y do u think its this n not that? Y did u decide on this? What made u opt for that?”

These were questions that the MO’s or consultants shud answer right away,but it was not so. Sum didn’t know y they decided to put a diagnosis n when the HOD asked “Dr.X, tell me all the signs of uterine rupture?”. I gasped, it was a 4th year question n the HO didnt answer. I was like, shit i better know my details, or i am gonna be so screwed!

Today i joined a seminar for Breast feeding. I think its obvious that ppl dun take this thing seriusly. Ppl think its sumthing boring n non important. Even in Russia during peads i tot the same. I regret that now. We saw clips of how bottle feeding is dangerous during Emergency situations(tsunami, war etc.). The pic which really took my back was the pic of a feeding bottle n teat which had sum amount of maggots. Sum amount but still, MAGGOTS!!! can u imagine?

I think its important that the govrnment pushes this issue as very important ones. We hv so many great medical facilities but there is no point to it if the morbidity n mortality level in babies is high.

Yawn!!! i m tired! Bye good night!



{July 30, 2009}   A Beautiful love song

This is a song called Khuda jaane from the movie Baachna ee Haseeno. Its a bautiful love song and even when its translated to english it remains beautiful. I love it, hope u do too!

sajde mein yun hi jhukta hoon,
(I bow down to you, yet I don’t know why…)
tum pe hi aa ke rukta hoon,
(I come to a halt whenever I see you…)
kya yeh sab ko hota hai,
(does this happen to everyone in love?…)

hum ko kya lena hai sab se,
(why should we think of anyone else?…)
tum se hi sab baatein ab se,
(you are the centre of all my thoughts now…)
ban gaye ho tum meri dua,
(you have come to be my prayer…) 

sajde mein yun hi jhukta hoon,
tum pe hi aa ke rukta hoon,
kya yeh sab ko hota hai,

hum ko kya lena hai sab se,
tum se hi sab baatein ab se,
ban gaye ho tum meri dua, 

khuda jaane ke main fida hoon,
(God knows, I am head-over-heels in love with you…)
khuda jaane main mitt gaya,
(God knows, I am all lost in your love…)
khuda jaane yeh kyun hua hai,
(maybe God knows why all this has happened…)
ke ban gaye ho tum mere khuda,
(that you are my God nowadays….)

tu kahe to tere hi kadam ke
main nishanon pe,
(if you say so, then I’ll follow your footsteps…)
chalun rukun ishaare pe,
(stop or begin on their each signal…)

tu kahe to khwaabon ka bana ke
main bahana sa,
(if you say so, on pretext of coming in your dreams…)
mila karun sirhaane pe
(… I’ll meet you each night at your pillowside)

ho, tum se dil ki baatien seekhi,
(I learnt all about love from you…)
tum se hi yeh raahien seekhi,
(and I learnt the ways of love from you…)
tum pe marr ke main to,
jee gaaya
(by dying for you, I lived an entire life…) 

khuda jaane ke main fida hoon,
khuda jaane main mitt gaya,
khuda jaane yeh kyun hua hai,
ke ban gaye ho tum mere khuda,

dil kahe ke aaj to,
(the heart wishes that today…)

chupa lo tum panahon mein,
(.. you should hide me in your embrace…)
ke darr hai tum ko kho doonga
(I fear that I might lose you…)
dil kahe sambhal zara khushi ko
(the heart asks me to control my happiness…)
na nazar laga,
(and save it from the evil eye…)
ke darr hai main to ro doonga
(the heart fears that I might cry…) 

o karti hoon sau vaade tum se,
(I make a hundred promises to you…)
baandhe dil ke dhaage tum se,
(I bind the strings of my heart with you…)
yeh tumhe na jaane kya hua
(while you might not know what has happened to me in love…)

khuda jaane ke main fida hoon,
khuda jaane main mitt gaya,
khuda jaane yeh kyun hua hai,
ke ban gaye ho tum mere khuda,

sajde mein yun hi jhukta hoon,
tum pe hi aa ke rukta hoon,
kya yeh sab ko hota hai,

hum ko kya lena hai sab se,
tum se hi sab baatein ab se,
ban gaye ho tum meri dua,

khuda jaane ke main fida hoon,
khuda jaane main mitt gaya,
khuda jaane yeh kyun hua hai,



et cetera