not a good day

  Today in IJN my practical started with death. He was a very unfortunate old man. He came to IJN for his appointment, and the night before he was fasting. When he reached IJN with hus daughters he was still fine, but as he got out of the car he fainted and hit his head to something. He was rushed to the emergency ward, n was given insulin and dopamine, the doctor said he was hypoglycemic. Soon one of the nurses found out from the patients’ daughters that the patient was having liver cancer.

Fortunately, the patient had responded to the first few doses of medication. He had good reflexes, he talked to the MO n cardiologist. We thought he was saved, but soon after he started crashing. The cardiologist said he could not be saved. Moreover when they did an ECHO, the heart was not moving. At 8.58 a.m the patient died.  

This was the first time I saw death as it arrived. Seeing cadavers was different, seeing an actual death was totally different. Nana said she felt sad n kesian, I however didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel anything but i kept staring at the dead man, the was nothing on my mind, at all. I don’t know if I was shocked, but I knew i wasn’t scared neither did I feel pity for the family. I know that I am going to sound like a cold hearted person, but to me at that time I thought, its better he died this way then suffer a few more months due to the cancer. He would have suffered as he didn’t look very strong. He was a weak old man.

I know i am nobody to say what’s right for the patient but that was my opinion. As for the scared part, I am amazed at myself, I thought I would freak out, but I didn’t.   

The rest of the days passed by with lots and lots of gossips with Nana.

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