This is a sad blog, so if u r not in for a dramatic overflow, don’t read it. And if u do read it anyhow, dont tell me how dramatic it was!

I hv been overseas for 3 years now, and each year I come back there is some1 new in my family. When I came back after my 1st year, i had an extra niece and a new sister-in-law. Then when i came back after 2nd year, I had an extra nephew and a new brother-in-law. This year too I hv a new niece and another new brother-in-law. All in all I have missed 3 weddings and 3 labours.

Thats something disturbing for me, cos i dont get to see these special occasions, I dont get to be with them, wish them, help them during these times. I can’t say that my life in Nizhniy is HELL and nothing is great for me there, but still family is family. For 20 years I saw the ups and downs in my family, I was there thru it all and now all I get is an sms or a call that says “Hey, ur sis just had a baby girl! She looks just like ur bro-in-law!” In my head I am like, “Ok how does my BIL look like? I hv onie met him once in my life!”   

At least these are the good news. I thank God for His blessings in my family, but when there is not a good news, I feel really down. I start thinking ” Did i tell this person I love them? Did I hurt them the last time i met them? Did I say anything to hurt them? I will get to see them again, rite?”  These questions take the life out of me.  I love each and every1 in my family, be it a new one or the old one. Each one holds a special place in my heart.

Here I am today, about to leave in three weeks time, but yet am not prepared to leave. I fear for one’s life. I fear that they might not remember me. I fear the pain of being a forgotten past. I dont want to be like that, I want my family to remember me, to remember who I am. I want them to watch me graduate, for who I am today its because of them. I am who I am today for my family, I want my family to stand tall and proud and for that i will fight. But i know,that even if I loose 1 of them, i would be down. I need them to live my life. I think in conclusion i hv to say, my family completes my life.

Sorry for making a very dramatic blog, but hey, its my blog rite ;P. Jus thought of sharing my sadness wif u guys.

I have been coming home from IJN by LRT and Star. I hv to say, M’sian hv not changed a lot. From what i see,

1. We still stroll, even if it is peak time
2. We dun follow rules, e.g when we take the escalator in lrt stations, we should leave the right part of it free for those who want to go fast, some ppl just “tak kisah”, they just stand there. Pelikla!!!
3. On the road, driving is sooo the scary, especially when driving next to some ppl who own a Kancil, since they are small, they think they can masuk anywhere.
4. School kids walk lemah longlai although there is a car right behind them, they think they own the road.
5. No matter how pack the LRT is, at least you don’t have ppl pushing you so that they can feel more comfortable standing(I believe students from russian uni will understand what I mean)
6. Mamak stalls open 24 hours(i love this fact), and every stall is pack with ppl. Even if there is 5 stalls in one place, its all packed.
7. We don’t stare blankly at a white or black guy, just cos he is different, we let him move around in ease.

This is what I can think of at this moment. U guys can add your points if u like. All I have to say is, “home sweet home”